i'm pouring my heart out
to the misty clouds dancing over my head
and guess what,
they leave my feelings unanswered too.
i guess you weren't at fault after all,
no one has the time to answer
a hundred questions
and the umpteen follow ups to each of them.
they wave with the wind, everyday,
but they don't laugh at the way my eyes squint while complaining,
your laughter used to compensate for the silences you left me with after every fight.
yet, they do shed tears with me on rainy days
and somehow i feel that i'm not alone.
my minty monsoon passed
around the rim of your lemonade glass.
the lush green plants
add a fresh garnish to my mood.
like your fingers, the dew drops touch my skin
to tell me i'll be just fine.
and sunrises, they bring hope, everyday,
they fill your absence
with new tales,
touching emotions in empty spaces.
i try to capture my feelings in a snap,
and i keep smiling in vain.
i do miss you,
but each hike takes away some pain.
we'll be just fine.
Every time I have been asked about the Leadville MTB 100, I haven’t been sure of what to say. It was horrible. It was amazing. It hurt a lot. It was beautiful. I hated it. I’m setting goals for “next time”. I’ve never worked so hard for anything. I could have done better. I don’t want to look at a bike or a hill ever again. I can’t wait to get back on the trails.
But there is one thing I am sure about. How lucky, fortunate, and blessed we are. That we got to train for, start, and finish this race. That we were able to make the cut off. And that we had so many people supporting us all along the way. Our family by blood, by bike, and by choice were there encouraging us before we ever got to Leadville and on race day. These people are our core, crewing for us on race day, deafening other spectators with their cheers, wiping mud from my face while I lay on the ground trying to remember my name, wrapping me in foil and fleece when I huddled, shivering after the finish line. They are the best and I wouldn’t have wanted to experience that day in any other way. ❤️